public musings of a mama

dancing queen

The weekend was a blur of sun, sand, lake, pedicures, manicures, glistening body lotions, lip gloss, heels, music, drinks, dancing.. dancing!  I danced the entire night at my friend's wedding.
If you live in NJ, you must visit this place.  It's open to the public for lunch/dinner and has walking trails with amazing views of Manhattan.

my dress:

you can't see my heels, they sunk into the grass

my b.f.f., my date, the maid of honor at my wedding 13 years ago:

the groom, my 2nd b.f.f. from high school, also a guest at my wedding 13 years ago:

summertime...

~enjoy your weekend~ this should work now.. I had the embedding set to private!~

a project i look forward to

Since buying our home over six years ago we've slowly fixed up and renovated, completing at least one big project per year.  We installed central air conditioning, built a shed house, put in a new remote controlled garage door, and (our biggest project) completely gutted then rebuilt our basement apartment.
We've also painted each room in the house twice.  We're color fans who don't mind changing the ambiance of our home every couple of years.

Our biggest project, one that I will be taking on myself will be the kitchen.  I spend most of my time in the kitchen entertaining guests over for coffee dates, reading, and of course cooking.  I love to cook.  My European parents always cooked meals from scratch and we ate dinner at our kitchen table every single night.  This is a tradition I have carried into my own family.  I like a proper dinner and I prefer to sit at the table with Z and Angie and talk about our day as we enjoy our meal.

  

So the kitchen... the plan has always been in the works, it just hasn't happened yet.  I've been collecting remodel magazines and studying layouts for years.  I want to create my dream kitchen.  Until then, I'm perfectly happy with my 1970's cabinets, my uneven tile flooring, and my speckled formica countertops.  Regardless of what the room looks like, I can still create magic with the tools that I've got.  For now, it will do.

I'd love to have you over for dinner some day.

sharing it with you

and a few selfies...

for him...

(photo courtesy of my lovely husband)

~Because you know what I'm feeling just by looking at me.
~Because you support every one of my interests and ideas. (except for my tatoos).
~Because when I think it's impossible, your try your hardest to make it a possibility.
~Because I never met a man with a more beautiful smile or a more genuine heart.
~Because you're a generous giver, it comes naturally to you.
~Because you're an above and beyond amazing father.
~Because when you pass through Westfield, you stop at the deli I love and get me chocolate croissants.
~Because you watch Lost with me and listen to my theories.
~Because my friends have become your friends.
~Because every time you use my car, you fill it up with gas before you come home.
~Because you won't drink a beer unless you can split it with me.
~Because you brought me to the place where the moon fell from the sky down behind the horizon.
~Because a meal cannot be good one without Feta cheese, roasted peppers, and crusty bread.
~Because over the course of our 18 years together, what I looked like never mattered to you.
~Because you chase rainbows for me.

free like a butterfly

(Butterfly taking off upon seeing an approaching camera happy Bella)

Cleaning up and streamlining my whereabouts online is something I decided to take on last week after a taking stock session with my journal.  When you have your fingers dipped in as many pots as I have, it can be quite a time consuming task.

Keeping my favorite mantra in mind (calm over chaos), getting to this place means cutting out some things like Twitter, like Facebook.  The myspace account it gone.  I had to ask myself which of all of these outlets were serving me best?  And honestly, I see the good in these social networking sites, I really do.  They just don't bring enough of anything tangible for me to carry on my journey. 

I guess I'll keep those accounts open for a while and see what happens.  I have met some inspiring souls through Twitter.  Clearing out the applications on Facebook is a chore though.  It's not like you can *select all and delete*.  It's a manual *remove* *are you sure?* *ok* type of deal.

I'm spending today with my girlfriends and all of our kiddies outside in the fresh air and the sun.  Tomorrow if the weather holds up, Angie and I are headed to the beach for a mama/daughter date in the sand and surf.  We plan on reading our books, building sand castles, and feeling the mist of the sea water on our faces.  Calm. Real. What's my souls been craving.

new treats

After a long hiatus from eating healthy, I am back in the game with some new treats:

~thinkThin~ protein bars.  Heavenly.  These high protein, no sugar bars are a 10 on the taste scale (creamy peanut butter is a fave) and truly keep my voracious hunger under control in the afternoon.  I consulted with a friend who knows her stuff when it comes to meal/snack bars.  She claims this is one of the best.

~dried fruit bars~ via Trader Joe's.  No sugar and unsweetened, this is straight up fruit dried in the sun.  It doesn't offer much nourishment but at 50 calories a pop, I'll take it.  The texture is a little gummy but still very tasty.  It's like a healthy fruit roll up.

Tried and true things that have always worked for me:  ~water~  Lots of it.  It's Free. Pure. Healthy. Nourishing. Hydrating. Quenching.  I drink it ice cold with a few lemon slices.

~flax seed oil~ I used to buy whole flax seeds and sprinkle them into yogurt or cereal but when the jar ran out I never restocked.  I picked up a bottle of cold pressed, organic supplements and will take one with my vitamen cocktail every morning.

The gym.  The freaking gym.  I'm one of those people that loathes going to the gym.  The funny thing is after the class is done, I'm on such a euphoric high.  My membership has been on freeze for a while but tomorrow morning, I'm calling up to re-activate and get my booty moving.  Lately I've been bike riding, walking, and jogging (feeling it all over) to prepare for going back.

One *really* good thing is that haven't gained any weight back.  I lost about 50 lbs over the course of a year and then I plateaued, got bored, and stopped.  This time I don't feel like I have such a high mountain to climb.  I know I can get to a size that is healthy for me because I have the focus and determination.  Summer weather kind of kicks my butt into action. 

What about you?  What are you doing to change your shape or to keep yourself healthy?  I'd love to hear what you're doing or any tips / advice.

(the last of my daisies)

gift yourself

I was snuggled up on my couch with my morning coffee browsing through emails and my blog reader when I came across this post by Andrea.

(are you  a mama, a working woman (or both), a soul who craves balance but you’ve got a to-do list that runs on and on, or maybe you don’t know when it’s time to punch out on the time clock? you might want to read that post)

You know, it’s not often that another person’s words or experiences will parallel so closely with my own.  As I read through Andrea’s words, I was all “yes!” “yeah!!” “oh, yes”.  I was inspired and decided that just for the day I would flip my to-do list the bird and write a to be list.  This, you must try for the fun factor alone.

This afternoon, I was having a conversation with someone I love dearly about this same topic.  We were discussing the things we had to do this week when I realized that the list never ends.  When that thing you have scheduled on Friday night is done, guess what?  The next day, you’ll have a long list of things to do all over again.  This is life and it is ongoing, non-stop action, action, action.

What I’ve been missing out on ~maybe you have too~ is that we do have the power to say enough.  I feel like I’ve been sitting in the passenger seat for a while letting life pass me by.  I’ve been enjoying the ride, but shit.. I want to be driving.  And I want the car to be a red convertible with the top down and my hair blowing in the wind, hands firmly on the wheel.  That’s what I want.  (convertible driver, rock star, owner of best camera gear on the market ~ all on my to-be list b.t.w)

Andrea writes:  “Maybe we should trash our to-do lists and create some to-be lists instead.”  Totally great idea if you're ready to invite real living and real fun back into your life.  This is a gift everyone deserves to give themselves.

what works for me ~ and links ~

I hope you're having a fabulous Sunday!

I've always been a big believer in the power of positive thinking.  Many of my friends and family members can say that they've been on the receiving end of my "i know you don't want to hear this right now..." speech when they're depressed, or hurt, or sad, or whatever.  I let them know that this moment they are living in, the gravity of it will eventually fade.  Without taking away from what they're feeling, I hope to offer them some teeny glimpse of brightness ahead.

Last week found me in rare pity form, pouting over this and fretting over that.  Sitting deep within that hole I saw, albeit for a fleeting moment, that familiar bubble of positive I shower effortlessly on others.  The challenge for me was to whip it up lasso style and shower it on myself. 

You know, it's a funny thing.  I can get caught up in a moment and remain there so easily.  Be it bliss or be it somber, my emotions are intense. 
I'm finding that with practice, pulling myself back to center is getting so much easier.

inspiring me last week:  Susan Tuttle (hello! amazing!)  This video seen via Vivienne McMaster.  Seeing the world from a different angle.  Beautiful skies used as as backdrop.  A little bit of this ~ you may have to show proof of age before entering~  *edited to add:  this lovely video by DJ

And finally ~ to the two best fathers that i know ~ Happy Father's Day to Ralph and Z !!  You are both amazing, amazing men. 

an offering

A minute ago I was tapping my fingers against the computer keys, shoulders erect and eyes closed thinking how I would type out what I need to say.

::still drawing a blank::  ~
::blowing bubble-gum bubbles::

My heart has kicked into overdrive and adrenaline is carrying me through this day because I am a floating red balloon of happy.  I wonder if it's because somewhere deep inside me recognizes that I need to be the stronger partner in my relationship ~or~ if it's because I walked the walk and did the work to get to this content, go with the flow place.  I don't know, but it feels good.  I don't want to analyze the why's or how's.  I just want to honor my present space and offer the universe my gratitude.