public musings of a mama

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December Views

words will have to wait.

We gifted our girl with an extra day off of school for three reasons:

• she has relentlessly asked for a night away with only mom and dad
• she brought home a stellar (all A's !!) report card
• she has so far until today, a perfect attendance record for this school year

Yeah, yeah... whatevs.  We're not trying to be cool parents and definitely not giving into our child's demands.  She deserved it and truth be told, we needed this getaway.  The three of us have had a bumpy couple of months.  Things are finally starting to even out so this getaway was a sort of celebration.  We are coming out of hibernating mode (read: socializing again!) and moving on as a family with our focus on each other and loving every last bit of goodness we can squeeze out of life. 

I'll be silent for a while here on my blog because I'm going to participate in Darlene's December Views.  ~and~  I am hoping to get a spot in Susannah's e-course, Unravelling.  I met the lovely Susannah at Squam last September.  She's sweet, she's passionate about photography (especially film and more importantly, polaroids), and she's English (which I love 'cause she says "bloody hell" like my Grannie did and she drops F-bombs that sound so elegant and proper in her accent). 

One last thing - I'm not a drinker.  If I decide to indulge I usually go for wine, preferably red.  I ordered a blood orange martini simply because I am smitten with blood oranges.  My heart fluttered as the first sip went down.  I had to order a second, it was that good.  Two blood orange martinis = the best $26 I ever spent (yes, really).  My cocktails cost more than my hangar steak entree.

Our weekend, and much more to come:

moi ~ enjoying the sunset

this is what I was entranced by ~ SOOC (straight out of the camera)

window shopping at Burberry - in and out of focus

she threw her pennies in and made her wishes

a wish come true: finding a Zoltar like in the movie Big

 

Cheers!

awake from my turkey coma

I am participating in Darlene's annual December views this year.   Please take a peek and join in if you feel up for it.  Personally, I love that it gives me the butt kick to get out and use my camera with the added bonus of no writing (but still blogging).  A silent month. 

*Who am I kidding?  I have to write, at least a quote to match my feelings*

 

Thanksgiving was fun.  Our turkey was *delish* and I plan on brining every year from now on.  It was ~fall off the bone~ tender and tasted so good.  For me, the cooking was easy.  Z and Angie set the table (I love our table for 3) with our fine China set from our wedding.  Three or four bites in, and I was done - completely stuffed.

After dinner, we napped watched a movie, and two hours later I cleared the table and set out the desserts and coffee.

 

The next morning, my neighbor Bill across the street, began the process of stringing lights around his 30 (or more) bushes.  It takes the guy all day from start to finish, but the display is truly outstanding.  I love looking out my window at night and seeing the rainbow of Christmas lights.  His tradition has become a comfort for me.

Finally, I have a few pictures to share of Z's trip to Montenegro.  He spent a couple of days at his father's village, a pause from the city and the business he had to take care of.  I've been to Montenegro twice.  The country is absolutely stunning - it's full of mountains, so everything is kind of built into a rocky hill.  Unfortunately, I've never visited the north part, which is where these pictures were taken:

 

 

(Love this one!)

~A magical weekend, from me to you~

with words and video, i send you good wishes

I am the first one to wake this Thanksgiving morning and that's because I set up the coffee maker to greet me with a full pot of medium roast goodness.  Without the beeps of the alarm clock, I woke gently to the aroma of a fresh brew.  God, this is absolutely a great way to start the day.

Today there will be no traveling, no cleaning up before guests arrive, and no mad rush to set a table that will overflow with food and guests.  Today will be a simple dinner for three (possibly four), a scaled down version of the grand feasts I've prepared in years past.  A baby turkey currently enjoying a bath of brine, sausage bread stuffing, velvety mashed potatoes, sweet jellied cranberries, and fancy seasoned corn.  For dessert the three of us worked on a ginger-pumpkin tart that filled the house with a spicy flair as it baked during our Monopoly tournament, and a store baked apple pie.  We'll fill our glasses with a 2007 L'Espirit Devin Red Cotes du Rhone bought especially for this day, as we gather to give thanks and count our blessings.

I can't help the overwhelming sense of thanks and gratitude I feel for the experiences I've had this year, for the the challenges I've come out of still standing on my two small feet, and for the love of my family and friends that surround me like an aura of sunshine.  My blessings are many, my life is a rich one, and today I plan to stay aware - to acknowledge - to honor.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! from bella cirovic on Vimeo.

and so it goes

All is well once again chez Bella.  My husband is back from his business trip (I think I might have already shared that tid-bit).  The Thanksgiving turkey has been bought (actually it was free when I hit the $300 mark at the grocery store) and the brine recipes are being carefully studied.  We will brine this year chez Bella, oh yes we will.

 

Here are what I expect to be the last of my fall photos.  Mother Nature did not fail in the color department this year.  NJ's landscape was truly breathtaking for a couple of months.  Now the trees are bare and the long cold months are just around the corner.  I look forward to capturing the tiny bits of beauty the months ahead have to offer.

(me & my brother, Steve)

It may be a blurry one, but I'm happy to report that my $5 sx-70 polaroid camera WORKS!!  The film costs a small fortune but I plan to splurge at least once a month for a pack if only to improve my skills.  I am thrilled with the results thus far.

This week will see our Halloween decor come down and the multiple boxes marked Christmas will see the light of day yet again.  Pie crusts will be prepared in advance and a small feast will adorn our table this Thursday as we celebrate what we are thankful for.

I am truly blessed.  There is much love within my little family in our cozy home.  I believe a post dedicated to what I am thankful for is in order... just not today.

celebrate the fantastic bits

Friday.  I once loved you simply for the long and lazy days of rest that come after you.  But now you've become a thing of the past, like sugar in my coffee ... like Marlboro Lights ... like white eyeshadow.  You're no longer my favorite day.

But within the blog world, there is good reason to celebrate you.  Friday has become, for many, a day to share the good things going on in our world.  I have many of those little bits of wonderful myself:

~ For a long, long, LONG time, we stood by waiting for it to happen.  And then, back in September, she whispered a little something into my ear.  Welcome back, my blogging friend, the drowsy fabulist, Blue Poppy.  

~ Say hello to my rockin' roller derby mama friend, Kiki.  She had an idea, an idea she would daydream about, an idea she believed in.  Now ~ her dream is real.

~This video says a lot about dreams manifesting.  It's sure to make you smile.

~ This photo.  This one too!

~ Finally, my man and partner in crime comes home tomorrow!  When he left two weeks ago, it felt as if time couldn't pass fast enough.  Now, it's Friday, the day before he comes back to me, which is definitely reason to celebrate.

Wishing you a fun and fabulous weekend!

total detour

My only purpose for opening up the laptop this evening was to search for a good banana bread recipe.  Banana muffins would work if I have the ingredients on hand.  I bought a bunch of bananas with really good intentions of bringing one to work with me each day to ward of mid-morning hunger, an attempt I failed miserably at.  Instead of searching for recipes, I opened up my picture files. 

Here I am at age 18:

(my scanner = shit)

This is the picture of me that Z keeps on his dresser.  Bella, circa '92, teased hair (check), see through top (check), bushy eye-brows (check), ready to rock out on her 18th birthday Jersey style.  That night, I thought I looked hot. 

Moving along...

 

All Angie's been talking about for the last month are the ceramic bowls the class was making in art. The process took a while (art class is sadly only once a week) but she finally got to bring home her bowl:

 

She knows her mama's favorite color!

And finally, a drawing of me by my girl:

Look how pretty I am!  I wish I had those eyebrows and that hair in my when I was 18.

whine about brine

Thoughts are swirling ~ to brine or not to brine this year's turkey?

I've heard nothing but raves when it comes to the texture and taste of a baked turkey that's been brined.  Thanksgiving will be a small gathering at our house this year, a good time to experiment.  I'm intrigued with this soy sauce technique but still, I hesitate.  It will only be the five of us and plenty of side dishes or pie if I ruin the turkey, right?  I'm thinking: brine.  What say you??  What's your menu looking like?

sunday ~ in this bubble moment

After sporadically sharing sad, nonsensical musings for a month, I think the time has come for me to get back to talking about what's real and what's making me happy.  I've got this quote from a Lily Allen song on my facebook page:  "I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner. Now everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner."  I'm a huge fan of Lily Allen's music.  Huge.  Not much of a Lily Allen fan but her music is light, airy, free, funny, and very much my taste.  When I heard her sing those words for the first time I thought damn, she and I are genuinely on the same page when it comes to our weight issues.  Through good times and bad, my weight is always on my mind (but totally NOT in an unhealthy way).

If I'm staying away from the nonsensical let me just say it:  When I came back from that lovely trip to SAW I keep raving about (and did I mention the 5 star tasting buffet of eat all you can - three times a day -delicious food we were fed for five days?) I decided to get back to working on my fitness.  (Yeah, I know... blame it on Fergie but I love saying working on my fitness).  I swear that the loose fitting cargo pants I wore on the drive up to NH were pinching my waistline on the drive home.  5 days of eating like a queen will do that, I guess.

The last couple of weeks of September up until today, I've managed to drop about  10-12 pounds by modifying my meals and light excercise.  By light I'm talking about walking, crazy dancing to music when nobody's watching, or cleaning my house.  Not the gym.  The gym is another story for another day.  I can go ahead and add stress into the mix, but that was totally unexpected and weight loss due to stress is all kinds of unhealthy.  But this is my story, and my thoughts on that are: *Shamefully enter Lily Allen quote here*

That was the real part.  This is the fun part:

Oh yeah!  Boots.  Skinny jeans.  Sweaters.  I've worked way too hard not to indulge.  Boots are a huge step out of my fashion box.  I won't even pretend I have a fashion box because if you know me, then you know I am most comfortable in a track suit and sketchers or a pair of simpleton jeans with a black top.  Those are my two, suburbun mom that blends in, staple outfits.

I don't want a certain look people associate with me - I just want to feel good in my clothes and have fun mixing combinations I normally would never wear as long as I look good in said clothes.  Fun.  Fashion and shopping should be fun, and now for me it is.  No more walking into a store and heading straight for the rack of black clothes.  Now it's all about picking something that normally I would consider a NO WAY AM I WEARING THAT and trying it on.  Lately the dressing room has become an operation shock and awe situation becuase 9 out of 10 times my pile of "buy it!" is bigger than my pile of "put that shit back."  That, my friends, has never been the norm.

I'm dabbling.  I did get new boots and a new (mustard yellow) bag.  I got rid of the simpleton jeans and replaced them with better fitting and much sleeker looking ones.  Next on the list is getting properly fitted for a bra (thank you Oprah show!) and finding panties that fit comfortably without showing lines (I can't do the string in the butt-crack thing).  Then I have to tie it all together so I can rotate and blend the new pieces with the good stuff I already own. 

This Sunday, I offer you my most straight up in this moment:  I am happy.  I feel happy.  I've worked hard to look good and feel good physically - and in this moment, I know that.  I know that I deserve to feel happy when I slip into a size 8 because two years ago, I was a  size 16 and very unhealthy.  I know that this moment is just one bubble and thousands of bubble moments will make up this day, but I choose to honor this one - this happy one - because I've let too many of them pop without so much as a glance.  I hope you enjoy every one of your bubbles today.