sunday scribblings - SKIN

Diving into the deep blue water, I had no fear.  I was free from so many things that had been clogging my head and my soul for so long.  I emerged from the deep and looked up at the sky as I maneuvered myself into the floating position.  I enjoyed the feeling of the water on my skin.  It held me, engulfed me, comforted me. 

I had, for a very long time, covered feelings of anger, fear, loneliness, failure, longing and wanting.  I buried these feelings way down.  They were so far away from me, I hardly knew they existed anymore.  They emerged slowly but took hold of me suddenly.  The only layer of protection I'd had for so long was my skin.  Looking at me, you would never know the things I kept hidden.  And just like that, I had a chance to escape away from my own world and reevaluate my life and my feelings.  For one long month, I had only me to rely on, and I knew I had to get comfortable with myself rather quickly.

Swimming in that water, that crystal blue water - was very calming for me.  I let many of my fears go and came to terms with why so many of these feelings had been buried and pent up for such a long time.  I felt a relief that I had never experienced before.  I felt I was ready to take on the world and all that it had to present to me, good or bad.

I walked out of that water and into the sun.  I laid in my chair, in a very content and relaxed state.  I knew at that moment, the way I would react to situations in my life would never be the same.  I let the sun's rays dry me, and I looked at my skin.  It was bronzed and glowing with speckles of salt that had dried and stuck to me.  That day, I gave an offering to the sea.  A ring that I had worn for so long, one I truly loved, went into the water.  The sea gave me peace and I gave the sea part of me.  It was the only time in my life I had ever felt the most comfortable in my own skin.

*This story, which I'm telling for the first time, was part of an eye opening process for me, while on my European vacation two years ago.  It was the beginning of a process of healing and renewal, which I'd gotten sidetracked from.  The 'skin' prompt brought many of these feelings back for me.

Comments

[kristen]

Wow Bella. I love this post and your view on the prompt. I think it's very powerful to give an offering, especially of something that's important to you, even if it was material. I love that pact you made with the sea that day.

[Pip]

What a great story. I'm learning to deal with my fear of going underwater at the moment, because I finally want to learn to swim, and your writing spoke to me. Thanks!