public musings of a mama

day 30 - all good things.. don't really end, do they?

Acrylic paints on craft paper (with a magazine cutout).  A sort of self portrait.

Finally, finally the end of a month of posting on the blog everyday.  Honestly, in retrospect, it doesn't seem like it's been a very long journey, but long nonetheless.

What did I take away from this experience?  What have I learned?  Well, for one, I don't like blogging everyday.  It seemed forced, for me - and when I feel forced and prodded, I tend to back away and grow a distaste for all things forced.  But I pushed on, determined to give this thing my all (except for Thanksgiving day).  My goal was to finish thing thing out, and I did.  I don't think I'll be doing this next year though.

My favorite part of the Art Everyday challenge was taking time to myself each day and letting the creative juices flow.  I started getting into painting a little before November, so I was up to the task when Leah put the opportunity out there.  I felt exposed and raw each and every time I pressed "post" knowing that a little private piece of me was being displayed to the world.  I don't deal well with criticism, even the constructive kind.  I take bits and pieces and apply them where necessary, but then, I over think and over analyze where people think I might have gone wrong in a particular art piece.  It has nothing to do with the reader or commenter, it's all my shit and stuff I'm working on.  Regardless, I did it, and I'm happy I did it.  (I missed a few days here too during the week of Thanksgiving).  This is something I will definitely be doing next year. 

I know now that I am a sporadic blogger, only coming here when I feel the need to express some thoughts to myself and to open my heart to my readers and friends.  I am grateful to be part of a community of supportive people and for the friends and the connections I've made.

I also know that I'm feeling more passionate about exploring my art.  Painting, cutting, gluing, collaging, glittering, coloring, and everything else in between.  It's something that I enjoy doing and it gives me a sense of calm.  Where will it take me is yet to be determined.  I'm just starting and still learning as I go.  Right now, all I can say is that I'm still in the discovery and learning phase.  But, be on the lookout for new creations at least once or twice a week here in my little cyber home.

It's been a beautiful month.. I celebrated my two wedding anniversaries.  I met Irene (Momster) on a play date in NYC with Kristen and all of our kids.  My sister celebrated her birthday.  I got serious about my journaling and about living my life with less chaos and more calm.  I have plans to spruce up my house and get it cozy for the holidays.  I have plans to travel.... YES!!  And what I look forward to most is to explore my creative side, a side that exists somewhere deep within me just begging to be brought out to the surface.  And one more thing I'm just starting to dip my toes into: Photography.  Oh, how I love it.  I am in the process of working with my new camera (learning the ropes) and also tinkering with Photoshop.  I've always loved photography (especially the lomo style) and it was Michelle from Tangled Wings who really opened my eyes to the possibilities of what one can express through the lens. 

I hope your month was as full and fabulous as mine.  Here's to a new month, and new possibilities.

day 29 - drunk on juice

It all started with my liquid lunch.  My juicer made her way back onto the counter top after the craziness of Thanksgiving:

That would be a  mix of apples, parsley, carrots, and strawberries.

Sipping my energy cocktail.

Not sure if I'm diggin' this drink.  But hey, I'm starting to catch a buzz.

Yep.  Definitely buzzed.

Can you see it in my eyes?  I'm feeling tingly.  I'm ready to bounce off the walls.

A big (or in my case, small) 2 thumbs up.  Highly recommended. (ps...remind me to tell you about that middle finger that I can't bend).

Now, here's where things started to get silly:

Juicy girl in da hood.

 

Juicy girl wearing her kid's blinking Disney tiara.

Juicy girl introducing you to her friend, Willie S.

She loves her some Willie S. 

Alas, all good things must come to an end...

Come back again some time, won't you?

day 28 - blossoming hearts

It's a little bit before bedtime.  My book is sitting here next to me, craving my attention.  I've cleared my bed of paints and brushes and glue.  I'm feeling really good despite some nagging external family issues (those are popping up quite often, aren't they).  My girl is peacefully sleeping after a long day back at school.  She walked out of the building with tired eyes and spent most of the afternoon on the couch relaxing.  Later on, she had a date with Z while I saw a movie (American Gangster) with my brother.  I caught up with a couple of girlfriends over the phone and made some commitments to holiday parties.  This reminds me that November just crept up on me so quickly, and before I could blink, she's almost gone.

I don't know how well this piece came out through the scanner.  It's a little doodle with acrylic paints on craft paper.  I'm calling it:  Blossoming Hearts.

 

day 27 - fishies

Acrylic paints on canvas paper.

This is something I made to hang in Angie's room.  Her walls are blue and she's a sweet and fabulous Picses who loves little fishies.

I'm totally at a loss for words.  It's been a long day.  Angie stayed home from school again but she's feeling much better.  It's back to school for her tomorrow and a big day of running errands for me.  Well, that and a bonus movie date with my brother.  Sleep well, dear friends.

day 26 - love on my mind

This is something I've been slowly working on and I'm scared to say that it's the finished product because it just seems like it's missing something.  I don't know what else to do with it so I put it into the finished bin and want to be done and over it.  It's acrylic paint on canvas with some tissue, sticker embellishment, and fabric ribbon.  It was just a little practice piece.

I'm reading a book that involves a deep and long love story.  It has me in a lovey mood, thinking about my relationship with Z from way back when we started dating.  When I get to remembering how things were in the past, I often think about how we will be in the future.  I try to picture in my mind what we will look like, how many kids we will have, how many houses would we have lived in, how many far away place might we have visited... and like a part in the story I'm reading, I realize that I just never want to be without him.  It seriously pains my heart to think about ever being apart from him.  And so, because they are along the same lines, I chose the words written in the art piece from Romeo and Juliet.  In an early scene, Romeo is talking with Benvolio, proclaiming his undying love for a woman (not Juliet) that won't be sleeping with him anytime soon.  Benvolio advises Romeo to forget about the girl, and Romeo answers him back..what I wrote above.  Those same words would rule my heart with no Z.  Maybe that's why I'm not feeling the art today.  It's quite depressing when you think about it.

My mind will take me to crazy places if I let it.  Thanks to all things sweet and rosy that I can remember to not let it wander too often and to live here in the present.  It is where we are now and wher our love is more tangible than ever.

day 25 - coughing, sick baby

(Acrylic paints on canvas paper)

Today was a day of relaxing.  Angie is sick, sick, sick...and I have to take care of her like a mama bear should.  We had pancakes for breakfast, a couple of doses of cough syrup, painted pictures, and watched movies.  All good fun except for the coughing and stuffy nose.  I don't like when my baby is sick.  She loves it because it means a couple of nights spent sleeping in mama's bed.  The things we do to make our babies feel better.

Day 24 - meme time

I was tagged by Tory a while back to do this meme.  I haven't done one in a long time, so here goes.  First, the dreaded rules:

Here are the rules for the meme:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random [?] people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

• My mind keeps saying "calm over chaos" but that philosophy goes out the window when it comes to my bedroom.  I can't keep it orderly or clean.  I have too many things.  Too many clothes, too many toiletries, too many keepsakes, way too many boxes and bags of stuff that I don't know what the hell to do with. 
• Speaking of clothes, right now, I have one pair out of maybe 10-12 pairs of jeans that I wear.  It's the perfect fit and length, and I can't for the life of me remember where I bought them.  I also can't shop for myself.  I need a shopper to with me because I cannot put a good outfit together... unless it's jeans and a black top, my standard uniform.
• I love coffee and if water wasn't a necessity, I would probably live on the strong stuff.. BUT.. lately, I can't seem to drink more than half a cup in the morning.  It makes me feel icky all over.
• I am a sucker for skin care and I will drop a heavy load (maybe a credit card full) of money on face cremes.  They don't do the magic that they promise they will.
• I love pop music.  More specifically, I love Britney Spears music.  I want to erase this fact but I won't.
• My passport has been expired since March 2006.  I'm going to England in April 2008. 
• I don't like my feet.  They're small and my toes are pudgy.  I have to constantly scrub the hell out of the bottoms because they get hard and scratchy.  I wish I had different feet.
• Bonus:  I wear perfume, all the time.

I don't know that I have 7 people that would want to do this so I won't tag anyone.  But, feel free, if you want to do this meme.

day 23 - missed a day, didn't I ?

I knew I couldn't keep the blogging gig going on Thanksgiving day, and I can't dwell on on feeling bad about it either.  There was not an ounce of time for me to sit in front of the computer yesterday, other than to send some well wishes to friends while drinking my morning cup of coffee.  So, I missed one day of NaBlo(me)PoMo (love that, Kiki)... Whatever.  It happens.  Life happens.
Yesterday was kind of a weird day.  My dinner was lovely.  The turkey was a little dry, but each year it comes out better than the last one.  I found an instant read meat thermometer hiding out in a drawer of kitchen gadgets I hardly use, which was a God-send in determining if the bird was done or not.  It was tasty and edible which took away from the dryness. 

The weird part was the actual sit down dinner.  My mom was an hour late and we had to wait for her.  Once she got there, there was a really awkward tension in the room.  I felt tense that all of the food was just sitting in the warming drawer waiting to be set out (and seriously, I don't like it when people are late for dinner dates.. it kills the mood for me).  She didn't seem bothered at all by being late.  She has all of these bad feelings pent up inside of her because she used to always prepare Thanksgiving dinner and now she doesn't.  Like I talked about in my last post, my siblings and I have all moved into different directions and now we have extended families that we have to spend time with too.  To my mom, this is a concept that is not penetrating well, and rather than accepting things for how they are and embracing changes, she forms resentments.  These resentments become like a  stale pillow of air that engulf her so that wherever she goes, everyone gets a wiff of her negative shit.  Ugh. 

The night got better when my sister showed up with her kids (and mother-in-law, and grandmother-in-law).  My kid was happy to be with her faerie cousins, and I was blissfully happy to see my sister's smiley face.  We immediately left the family to go downstairs and have a cigarette, while Z followed us with my camera where he tried to get pictures any popping out cleavage.  He's such a pervert, but in a good, fun way.  It was like the first breath of fresh air I had the entire day.  When it was time for everyone to leave, the kids came around with their begging puppy dog eyes, so they got their wish for an impromptu sleepover.  It's so hard to say no to those cuties.  They had a wonderful fun night and now, my sister has them over at her place for a second sleepover.  Just what I needed, a full day and night of NOTHING at all to do.  No cooking, no cleaning, no mommy-ing... just sitting pretty, relaxing and painting.. purging all of last week's overwhelming anxieties away.  It feels so good to feel free to do whatever my heart desires for the rest of today.  Complete bliss.

I can finally get back into my Art Everyday work.  Here is today's effort:

This is acrylic paint on canvas with stickers and glued on embellishments.  I picked up some supplies today at the craft store to start my mixed media collection.  I chose Time Flies because of the busy week I had.  I did try to take moments to relax, breathe, collect myself and my thoughts.  But here I am, and it's Friday, and I really can't believe how fast the days are passing me by.

day 21 - times that passed

Let me take a minute here to breathe between dinners.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  I love the food, the family coming over, the overall cozy feeling that comes when people you love gather in one place and the feelings just flow along with the day.  Now that my siblings and I are all grown and married off into new families or living alone, we don't get to spend many holidays together.  It's a little sad actually because the memories I have of Thanksgivings of the past are so vivid.  The three of us were an unstoppable force, always united in our mission to make every holiday a good one.  Now, I'm home making my own memories, enjoying the moments, and hoping to show my daughter what traditions mean.  But at the same time, I miss the past.  I miss being the carefree kids we were, not worrying about how the food would get onto the table but only about when we were going to eat it.  I miss family members that are no longer with us all of these years later.   I miss laughing until my belly aches with my sister and brother. 
So, for tonight, I'll think about that for a while before I say my prayer of thanks.  I'm so thankful to have those two solid, silly constants in my life.  I love  you both so much (If you're reading).  They are my secret keys to the past but also my treasured promises of a good future.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Day 20 - music on ice

Another busy day, selling baked goods to hungry students.  Rice krispy treats, cupcakes, popcorn, pretzels, bagels, cookies.. you name it, we had some on hand.  All of the goods sold out so tonight, instead of doing another round of cupcakes, I bought some boxed brownie dough and cooked those up.  Why brownies?  Because there is no need to use a mixer and dirty up another sink full of dishes ;)

Tonight, Angie and I went to see High School Musical on Ice.  Great, great show.  I haven't seen the movies, but I think I'll be renting them this weekend.  I need to catch up on this little slice of pop culture.  It seems that this movie is like the new Grease (I'll never believe that though).  I wish you could have seen the crazy amount of tweens singing and dancing in their seats.  Amazing.

(you should click those for a better look)

Tomorrow is our Patron Saints Day.  (St. Michael is my husband's patron saint).  I'll do a little cooking, a little cleaning, but mostly.. a lot of drinking and eating.  It should be fun, especially since Ralph is coming!!!