:: FOMO :: (Fear of missing out) is real, and man... I used to struggle with it. Actually, it was more the 'missing out' that I had trouble with. There was a life shift I experienced at the beginning of my second 7 year life cycle. My parents moved us to a new town and I began my freshman year of high school not knowing a single soul in the building.
I craved some sort of camaraderie. I desperately missed the friends I went to elementary school with while simultaneously cursing my parents for moving me to this God-forsaken 90's Guido land where nobody looked at me or talked to me for at least a year. My face was unknown (I have carried a fear of being forgotten since then) and I didn't fit in because nobody knew my story or had the life experience (or guts) to ask or get to know me.
High School eventually got better, great even. I managed to make many friends, get a few boyfriends, and graduate without any battle scars. But oh, I wouldn't relive that first year for all the money in the world.
Back to the missing out part. Because there were so many groups of kids that had known each other from their formative years, I could never quite penetrate and become one with any circle of people. It was tough, but it taught me at a very tender age to carve out my own path and create my own circles of friends.
This followed me into adulthood. While I had really good friends (3 of them to this day are from high school), I wanted to get in with a some groups I came upon through the years. There was the make up artists I used to work with in the late 90's. The pre school moms I so desperately wanted to hang out with. The online bloggers who had a good thing going that I so admired. All of these groups were un-penetrable. They stuck together like cement.
*Believe me, I tried in a very un-desperate way to make friends these people. I wasn't given a second glance, and today I know it was because they weren't open to me or anyone else except for their own, tight circle.
And so, I leaned on what I had (a wonderful network of people who loved me and I loved back) and kept my heart open to the people I did attract. Screw you if you didn't like me (or don't like me). I don't have the time wonder why or give you a second thought because what I do have in my hands needs my nurturing.
I gave up caring about what I was missing out on. I created my own sacred ground to stand upon. I let people in, good people who were attracted to me for who I was (and vise-versa). The landscape changes. We grow and outgrow and move in different directions or we stay. It's different for everyone.
<<An aside: This topic of creating a sacred ground to stand upon and leaning into what we know to be true is something I will be exploring with you in my Winter course A Flame in the Frost. I will guide you in creating your own unique releasing ceremonies which will open the path to nurturing what you have and making space for new (insert your desire here). If this interests you, the info is here. I am so humbled to share that the course is attracting exactly who needs to ease into 2015 gently.>>
I love this saying "stand in holy places and be not moved" ... how real, how sacred, how truly aligned with where I am. This is my blessing. Knowing that we are all connected but we don't all have to be compatible. Knowing that I create my own sacred ground for myself with space for people to join me. Knowing that I am missing out on nothing, as long as I embody and stay present in each of my own moments.
