"Stars can't shine without darkness."
Clashing shades of red / pink / red. Black is my staple color and I don't know why I'm trying to stray (it's an experiment, Bella). It doesn't feel "me" yet and if this continues, I'm taking my wardrobe out of my intention to "chase the light" this year. I'm no EMO, but I sure know how to dress the part and go to those places when the feelings start to feel fucking misaligned.
The feelings. All of them. I'm really lucky to have a job at the family business and if I need a sick day or time off, I get it. On the night of the new moon, I began taking down the outside Christmas lights. Because my husband is still deeply grieving his loss, I didn't ask for his help (it was a difficult holiday to get through). We lit a fire in the pit and I turned on the grill for some eggplant, green & yellow zucchini I had on hand for a salad. Two days prior, I over did something at the gym and my hip has been feeling out of sorts. I moved through it. I'm strong, this is nothing! Did I mention that while the grill was going and the lights were coming down, I had dinner going in the oven? No? Well, I did.
A chicken + roasted tottie* dinner with some grilled zucchini on the side (chopped parsley, garlic, a splash of balsamic + olive oil on the zucchini). A chicken so tender it was falling apart. We ate well, we sat under the stars until the fire went out, and we fell asleep with the smell of camp fire in our hair.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted to call in on the new moon. It is a time of ideas, invitations, hatching plans, planting seeds, all things new. With my gorgeous new moon intention notebook, I wrote and wrote and read the pages aloud to my family by the fire. The night was magic, but the next morning I could not move.
The hip gave me a lot of trouble and my body needed rest (if you listen closely, it will tell you what it needs). I needed the day off, so I called in and let the boys know I would see them on Thursday.
Evidence: Hair in a bun + no make-up. This girl is like, my lifeline. We spend a LOT of time together having deep convos, bickering, laughing, joking, with a healthy dose of serious resistance that happens when the teen years hit. Luckily for me, she's an empath who can't stay mad for long (like mama). By this time of the day (after school) I started to come around and felt a little better.
I shut my phone off on Wednesday nights + have a beauty night all to myself. This is a new ritual that involves no technology - just plain old masks - painting nails - reading - and the one technological exception: Netflix or Kindle on my ipad, because ... come on! All in all, I'm feeling so much better! I can get back to instagramming + photography + all the things that make me happy.
There is more to tell you (so much more). My absence from here is solely due to my focus on my course, A Flame in the Frost + learning Lightroom like a fiend! A little bit of work each day adds up and I am so proud of the what is transpiring in my group of people gathered around me.
I am offering a Flame in the Frost one more time starting on Feb 16th and finishing on March 20th, the first day of Spring. Here is the course info (it will be email based this time around) and the registration is open. I do hope you can join us. I'll be back tomorrow talking all things curvy.. !! Peace, my loves. xo
PS... Wanna watch a really good show? Sonic Highways, a docu-series by Dave Ghrol on HBO. If you're a music lover, you cannot miss this show.
*We grew up calling potatoes "totties". My mother was from Scotland. It's a thing.